On wrenching, or, the sheer audacity of idiots too lazy to learn

There exists a peculiar group herd of inDUHviduals out there who think feel that just because I acquired the skills of a bicycle mechanic, I am obligated to come to their assistance, or, worse still, that my services can be purchased. Nothing is further from the truth.

Let me make this clear: if I like you, I may help you; if I don't, no amount of money/flattery/gifts/food/alcohol/lascivious offers of coitus (or, rather, cooties. Ugh!) would persuade me to render you any assistance.

By the way, this is why I am adamant in my refusal to hire out my services as a bicycle mechanic to bike shops. To do so would mean surrendering my autonomy as I would have to service a customer's bike whether I like him/her or not. Now, before I am chided for being idealistic or naive, two close friends run their businesses in this manner. One of them is the sole owner of a camping outfit with a turnover in excess of a million dollars a year. If he likes you, he deals with you. If he doesn't, you are instructed — in no uncertain language — to take a hike. For what it is worth, Professor Shirley Geok-Lin Lim operates in pretty much the same manner. But I digress.

While I am by no means the best bike mechanic, I am certainly one endowed with freewill. So, if you are whining away about a problem with your bike, and I don't offer to help — don't ask.

Pick up a book. Learn something.
Those who took the time and trouble to learn don't owe you anything.

That is all.